Category Archives: Law

Pissed Off at Selfish People


I know it’s been a few days since I’ve put any posts up.. THAT is because my computer is shot.  So now I have to wait until Black Friday and (fingers crossed) can find an awesome deal on a laptop.

Before I go on.. I just want to give you readers a warning..


Ok, if you’ve been following my blog, you may have read my post titled, “Court Subpoena”. 

And if you haven’t and are too lazy (don’t blame ya, cuz I’m pretty lazy myself) to click the link to see what it’s all about.. I’ll give you a short summary.  Basically I came upon an accident with a bunch of kids in the middle of the night and I stopped.  Turned out I stopped and got myself involved right into a crime scene, where I became a witness.  Now after going through the PAIN in the ass process of being a witness (read, “Dear City of Pittsburgh” ) I understand why most people don’t stop to help others, but COME THE FUCK ON PEOPLE. 

Get over your selfish and tiny pathetic selves and realize the world is so much bigger than you.  And if you see someone hurt, or in trouble, then FUCKING help.  Atleast call the cops.  No one’s asking you to be a super hero, but to be a good citizen, or just a decent FUCKING person, you could ask if they’re ok.  Just showing that someone else is there and cares, helps. 

What’s bringing this on is this:

 I’m on my way home from the gym, going downhill around a bend, the sun has already set.  Pieces of glass shine off my headlights in the middle of the road, I hear the crunch under my tires, and see a dark figure standing off to the side of the road next to a car that has been completely smashed in from the back.  Seriously, tail lights gone; bumper is now an innie.  I pull up and see it’s a woman around my mom’s age.  You can tell she’s in shock.  I ask if she’s ok and if she’s called the police.  She says she’s just shook up and that she doesn’t have a phone.  

I pull over to the side of the road, call the police, and get out to make sure she’s ok.  As we’re waiting for the police, 35 cars pass, and only three!, THREE!!, 3!!! cars stop to see if we’re ok.  It’s pretty fucking obvious there’s been an accident and only 3 people stop to see if help is needed.  Plus, it doesn’t help that it took the cops twenty minutes to respond.  I had to call back and mention that it was a hit and run and that we were in a perfect position to cause another accident (the ladies car wouldn’t start to move it out of the way).

Finally, the cops arrived.  I made sure the lady was ok, she asked for a hug; made me feel all warm and fuzzy inside, and then I left.

It just makes me so upset thinking that all those people drove by and less than 10% stopped.  I keep thinking, what if that was my mom?  I just hope that if that were to ever happen to me (I pray it doesn’t obviously), SOMEONE would stop. 

Not gonna lie.  If they do find the guy who hit this lady and drove off, and it now becomes a crime, I REALLY, REALLY hope I don’t have to be a witness again.  I would rather get punched in the face, or pee my pants in public, or get hot sauce in my eyes…. you get the picture..

Well thanks for listening to my rant.

I feel much better.


Dear City of Pittsburgh


Dear City of Pittsburgh,

Being a witness to a crime, I have to say you’ve made my experience so enjoyable that I really wish to continue these heroic efforts in the future.

I loved, no really, LOVED, being woken up at 1 o’clock in the morning, especially having to wake up for work only a few hours later.  To me, there’s nothing better than getting broken sleep, so I truly thank you for all my yawns and dark circles people commented on the next day.   Plus, waking up to pounding on my front door BY THE POLICE–scaring the shit out of me (literally–well maybe not, that’s kinda gross, but you get the point), heart pounding, palms sweating–Can’t go back to sleep now–just to be served a court subpoena???  It’s better than waking up for sex..ha! 

Oh, my family thanks you for waking them up as well.  Don’t worry they don’t need their sleep either.     

Now, the fact that the subpoena was dated 26 August, 2011, but I didn’t receive it until 17 October, 2011, and my court date was on 1 November, 2011 is pretty awesome.  I really like how the city respects their witness’s schedules.  In fact, the city gives us SO MUCH time to prepare and rearrange our schedules (some people had a 3-DAY notice!) that most people had to miss a day’s worth of pay or in my case, a really important secret squirrel meeting. 

Leaving my house at 7:30am (an hour before I had to be at the courthouse) when I only live 10 minutes away, just so I can get through rush hour and make it there on time–I don’t want to be penalized with a fee or imprisonment as was promised on my subpoena–was a great way to start my morning.  Just sayin..

And parking?  You guys are SO SELFLESS!  The Mother Theresa of Parking Matters.  Parking was $16 (OR MORE), but YOU–YOU give us back $5.  How thoughtful!   

I think my favorite part about this whole serving my community and protecting humanity bit though, was the fact that I sat there for almost 4 hours; quietly and calmly; unlike other witnesses, just to be sent back home because the defendant pled GUILTY

You couldn’t have figured this out before you wasted my sleep, my gas, my secret squirrel meeting, my morning, my money, and just my time in general, with nothing more than $5 to cover it all??

And people wonder why most “look the other way“.  It’s no wonder the government has to force people to report crimes.  Didn’t know that?? Look up  misprision of a felony.  YIKES! 

Well, I just want to thank you once more.  But don’t worry, I’m here for you.   Let me know what else I can do for you.  How far do you want me to bend over.. things of that nature.  




Yours Truly Because It’s the Law,

Faithful Citizen 


I’m One Tough Mudder WILL


Running through fire up to 4 feet high and sprinting through live electrical wires with some carrying 10,000 volts.. Who says girls aren’t tough??

Leaving for Tough Mudder tomorrow with my team EISEN FUSS (lead foot)! 

I did have to sign a death waiver so if I don’t make it through the course on Saturday I’d like everyone on WordPress to know that my parents can have my dogs (I’m sure they’ll be thrilled).  My sister can have my house and all my belongings that my mother and dad do not want.. whether she wants to sell it, or rent it, or live in it.  And someone can have my car (it’s already paid off) BUT whoever wants it has to fight for it through a paper/rock/scissors match (NO CHEATING AND BEST OUT OF 3!)

Court Subpoena


I don’t remember much.  Just bits and pieces.  I mean c’mon, it was 8 months ago. 

There are huge chunks of plastic and metal in the middle of the street.  Smell of burnt rubber.  Car in rail.  Kids running. 

I ask if anyone needs help.  The white lady says no.  I pull over and park anyway.  (I don’t listen well).  I tell Olenka to stay in the car and lock the doors.  Not the safest neighborhood. 

A young black male takes off his shoes and leaves them on the white lady’s porch. 

I ask the white lady if the police have been called, she says yes. 

As I head towards the wrecked car I see a human form laying on the ground, howling in pain.  Maybe it’s being a first responder for 8 years that kicks in and makes me stop instead of just listening to the white lady and driving off.

I start talking to the kid whose leg is broke.  His name is Cleveland.  It’s going on almost 5 minutes and there are no police.  There is no ambulance.  Where is everyone?  I call 9-1-1.  They had no idea of the car accident.  They tell me to stay on the line.   

The first thing I realize, the white lady lied to me. But why?

There’s a white boy there.  He doesn’t seem to be with them.  (Maybe he’s the white lady’s kid?) 

The “kid who’s not wearing shoes” steps on Cleveland’s leg while attempting to pull off the license plate.  The car is being cleaned out.  

The second thing I realize; I’m in the middle of an active crime scene.

The “kid who’s not wearing shoes” is the one in charge.  He’s telling another black male to grab things out from the car.  He tries to tell Cleveland to get up.  I step in.  I told him he could not move Cleveland.  It’s not safe.  Something besides his leg may be broken.  The “kid who’s not wearing shoes” agrees with me and says, “Yes, ma’am” and then runs to the white lady’s house. 

A criminal with manners?

The ambulance arrives.  The police arrive.  I tell them what I saw and ask if I will have to go to court?  They say, “Probably not”, which is good because it makes me nervous to have to be a witness to a crime that occurred a mile away from my house. 

SOOO WHY was I just woken up by the Pittsburgh Police and served a court subpoena at 1AM?  And seriously, 1 o’clock in the morning?  Really? 

I mean, it’s not like I have to be at work in a couple of hours or anything.   UGH!